tiring on answer question...

after update the passed few days...now is the present tense...>.<
I've been answer lotsa lotsa of question this few days...
from the day that i told them that we can start to do our subject registration...
lots of question appear...and almost all are the SAME...
I've using whole afternoon and night to answer the same question...
and yet some more question from that I've been answer many time before this,,,
about the MLA journal,,,everyone were asking the same things...
and those things already have many many answer and many many of us have explain on facebook or anywhere else...
why dont u go and search it and wanna ask again?
I'm just really really tired on answer it,,,,
Comeon frenz,,,this century this world got a very useful invention called searching engine and also internet...why cant u all get the answer urself?
I get the answer from thr too...
or some...asking the stupid question...
''ei,,,how u think the lecturer will mark us ah?''
''ei,,u noe how to do?then i just follow u huh...''
''why mine one so many copy and paste de''
=____+
wth is it....how I know leh har?
first,I'm not the lecturer...
2nd,,,I thought I'm the one who pay least attention when class?
and last...ur work wor...how i noe?
searching source of reference sure got many copy and paste lah...
or how we answer wor?
I don't close with ZhangYiMou also...how I wrote his biography?
lol....

Are they too innocent or I was too clever?
use some simple thinking to think about it then got answer ad lah...
First i wanna say is that,,,I'm not so lansi or arrogant to answer u-all's question...
I'm really willing to help u-all and I'm just vry easy going to be frenz
and I will treat all my frenz well...
but sometime...people got emo time and also frustrated time also...
I need to do my work also and why don't u-all find the answer urself or just apply some simple thought?

Yet, I'm still answering what u-all have ask...>.<
but next time...pls...don't ask so many question,can?...>.<
I'm not the good student or who the lecturer dote the most...
lecturer dont know who am I also...and I just submit my work...
Lecturer havent mark also...he din say mine one is correct also...
why u-all seem like mine one sure correct and good one and keep asking how to do...
what to do if I'm wrong?
u-all wanna blame me? or never believe me again?
I din tell u to follow mine also wor...>.<
Am I look like the machine for answering question?
why all my frenz from each category like to ask me question although I'm just the simplest student and din done work well...
My understanding better than u-all or what reason ya?
I really dont know...>.<
Not every things I know...so dont ask me any of relevant or irrelevant question can or not?
I'm not the god also...how i know how to answer u?
google it lah...I use google to find ur asnwer also de...>.<
Give me some space can or not?pls lah...>.<

不甘心...为什么总是被取代

被取代的感觉真的不好受
不知道为什么，就像我哥说的
有种不甘心的感觉...真的没有想过
为什么，我们家的人总是比别人差
并不是人格上的差异，而是在做任何事情和物质上的差异
别人轻而易举就能做到就能拥有的东西
我们总是要花上很久的时间，费心费力的也只得到了那一点
是我们的命运吗？为什么总是那样？？
我哥不甘心不服输的是，为什么别人不需要付出努力
或是任何代价就能轻易的拥有自己的车，自己的事业，自己的产业
而我们总是在付出了很多很多的努力在很久很久之后才有二手的
他不甘心为什么我们拥有的东西总是二手的

而我，我不甘心是因为为什么每次在我付出了很大很大的努力
很用心很用心做到自己自以为很不错很满意的东西的时候
别人总是做得比我好...就算只是轻而易举的去完成...
天份，我讨厌这东西！
它重来就没在我身上出现过！
每次在我对自己的作品或某些事感到很满意时
一看见别人的作品马上心碎...我做的是什么啊...
比较起来根本什么也不是，只是在他们其中最基础最普通的
就和我的人一样，往往是最普通最容易被遗忘的那个
我讨厌在我付出了很多很多的时候并不被珍惜
因为根本没人觉得你是好的
也许对他们来说根本不算什么
我是多么认真的把你们当真心朋友对待
然而我的位子却又是那么轻易的被取代
我讨厌那感觉！超讨厌！...
在我费尽心思的想让大家熟悉点
让班上的同学都认识，都做朋友
然而，这点是做到了
之前所谓的不同region的朋友，现在大家都互相认识了
也比较有话题了
而我却被取代了...
曾经每一个region都是我混到最熟，跟他们最好
然而，好心的希望大家都认识热闹点，介绍多点朋友给大家认识
得到的下场时，他们各自变熟了，而我被遗忘了
我就这样竟然成了和他们最不熟悉的那个...
这就是我的命？从以前到现在一直都那样...
那感觉真的不好受，
看着自己的地位和待遇，以前发生在自己身上的事
一模一样的发生在另一个人生上
对象却不是我...超失落超失望的...

从来就没有人想过我的感受也没有人想要了解过我的感受
我是多么的希望被人看穿我的懦弱，然而有从来没有人重视过我...
这就是我们的命运...永远的老二...总是被人排在最后...
从没有被聚焦过...
唯一的那一点渴望那一点渴求
也只能随着时间慢慢的让自己淡忘
因为它不曾实现过...

你真的不知道你的一个态度可以伤我很深...

raining inside..

suppose to be a simple and plain day...
but smile quite much through out the day...
just to make myself more cheerful...
but...before end of the class today,,,
the short film...short briefing comment on that film make me emo...
tears rolling again...but not as much as last time...
the video's name is MAMA...
the words i scare the most...
actually it was in a foreign language and not have any subtitles...
and i dun know what is trying to represent in this video...
but after watching it...the lecturer explain to us,,,
I didnt pay full attention at all....so dont know much about it also...
but sudden...he sudden link to a question...
who miss their mum home-cooked meal...
i thought he want to ask us who miss their mum...
and my heart shiver after hear that question...
it just like a auto action...I didnt know why it will like this also...
after coming here....I think I become weaker...
become more easier to miss something,someone...and easier to cry...
trying to make myself a bit calm and it was success...
but after this...the lecturer ask the question that i thought he ask just now...
who miss their mum now? I think everyone is missing their mum now...
and those guys...who are plan to back hometown today....i think all
start acting...shouting''oh mum...mama...''
quite hurt u know for hearing this?
but they just dont know that my mum had passes away long time already....
cant blame them also...
but for those who know...shouting ''oh mum,,,i gonna back to find u already...''
this make me more sad...
and just remind me something....
in this world really NO ONE WILL CARE FOR WHAT U FEEL,COZ EVERYONE JUST CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES...EVERYONE IS just too SELFISH!
and of course....human is just made to be selfish in this reality world...
one and one time hurting me...
luckily...i didnt do some embarrassing things in the class....
the class is over after that...
walking back alone with the injured heart...
no one know how much I wish there will be someone appear in front of me...
huging me and comfort me...but there just no one...
always no...no even have any before...
sometime I enjoy walking alone in the nice windy weather...
coz i love wind...it make me feel more comfortable and natural...
the nice weather will make me really happy all the day but not for today...
with the raining's heart...
no one know how much I wish there is someone will see through me...
knowing what I'm craving for and how i feel...
I just keep pretending..camouflage that I'm a optimistic person...
just for do not let other know what am I actually is...
even through my own family dont know what I actually feel and act also...
not to mention are friends...
I still cant find out the one who will expose my weakness and make me comfortable with him/her...the one who can let me put down my mask show my true personality with...
is it so difficult to find that one?maybe...
Haiz...single also not a fault..
single also very good one...
I prefer to stay single always instead of cant find that one really understand me...
it is better than finding someone no really have true feeling with to replace...
no one can replace anyone in one's heart...
u will only hurt someone if u finding someone to replace the important person in ur heart....
sometime....walking alone is not a bad thing....

one more day...

one more day to reach that scary day...>.<
really scare now...
dont noe what will happen...
actually...tmr,,,dun feel so much like to go out instead of so many assignment are waiting for me...
but since they ask me out and i say yes ad...now cant change anything...
hope tmr will be a better day for me...
and yet...hope all is going smooth tmr...the situation and environment not will be so awkward
and boring...
GOD bless me...


and one more things...
that ppl...i dont know what u taking me for...
and really cant understand what u r thinking...
just hope that we r frenz...forever...vry goodfren,,,
sometime just wanna kidding with u and pls dun be so serious or pls dun so easy believe in what i said...
most of the time...is just kidding...dont angry and dun be petty,k?
i dun noe what u r thinking...but really hope that u din take it serious...

ya,,,one more question...r my face look like play-girl or easy fall in love with?
why from primary school till now in Uni ad...
for those who r opposite sex with me and have a good relationship and conversation with me..
those guy...always been teasing by their frenz or some more teasing me also...
why they so easy thought that those crush on me?
quite a trouble for me,,,and mayb cause of it...
it make a wrong impression for other about me...
and it consequently causing me being single till now...
not even have any...>.<
sometime,,,it just really ridiculous and i'm already vry sick of it...
nth to comment and nth to say anymore...
even for those the malay classmate...
not even talk b4 except for Fb chatting...
his frenz thought that he crush on me pula...T.T
tired...really tired about it...

GOD...my DEAR GOD...
if YOU really love me and hope i'm being love by someone...
pls just sending me the right person...one is enough only...
I just need ONE...who really love and care me superly...

1st of August...I will remember this day always...

The 1st day of August...

suppose to be a very hapiness and shine month...

but my friend leave me on this day...

the start of the new month...and she will leave later...

so much memory between us and the campus life...

I'm sure u will live better after u go penang...

but for me...I need to continue my life in the same environment with all ours memories around...

so often wil miss u when i saw or think about something that we do together before this and now...

less one...

This two month...although just two month...

so much memories between u and me...

more than the 10  years we know each other...

really hope that we can graduate together after 4 years...

but now...only 2 month...u leave ad...

although i'm sad...but still hope u can get whatever u want...

and I really hope that I can get usual of all of this and just be good to anything...

The things make me more sad is that...
my birthday is just 15 days away...
I really hope that u can celebrate with me before u go there...
when we come here together,,,i never thought that u will leave so early...
I still wishing for to have an unforgettable birthday for the 1st year Uni life with all my beloved friends
I really hope that all of u,the new friends and u can give me a surprise birthday...
although just a simply wishes from all of u is really enough for me ad...
but now,,,I think no one will remember or no one will know my birthday...
maybe i just expect too much on it...so now are very lost and disappointed...
anyway,,,

May God bless us always...Hope both of us can be happy always...friendship forever!love so much...

I'm fake...

when i smile...u can see the hapiness in my eyes...

but when i cry...u not will know...

coz i never cry before other...

sometimes,,,when i was smile...u just dont know that my heart is crying...

just need one second...when i turn myself back...my tears start rolling down...

and no one will know...

I wish to be happy too...I wanna keep myself always from emo also...

I know all of u want me to be cheerful and braveful...

I will try vry vry hard to achieve it also...

but just for once...now...let me cry out loud...

let me cry for the last time...

I just cant holding back the tears...

I will try ti be happy and make more friends after this...

I know u all so care about me,,really very thx u all

and I appreciate it so much!...

but just for now...let me cry for the last time...

I will be strong after this...gambateh for myself!!!

farewell day...

真的好久没来更新了
不是没有内容更新
而是想说的话太多，懒得写出来...
这两个星期真的发生了很多事情
我的大学生涯啊，刚开始习惯，陪我一起来的朋友就说不想读了要回去了
退学手续都办好了，这星期就要离开了
过后的生活会是怎么样的呢？
还真不敢去想象...一个人的我要怎么过才好？
之前的心情真的是很复杂，很郁闷也很生气
气他为什么每次都是半路逃跑...
现在好多了...只是很担心接下来的四年要怎么的去过？
幸好我哥现在上来这里工作了，虽然有点距离，
但至少当有事情发生的时候，还有人可以救我 >.<

这几天的生活和心情变化很大
大到我有点分不清哪个是真哪个是假...
那些朋友呢，到底是真心的还是因为我还有利用价值才和我在一起的？
有时候觉得他们人很好，还很照顾我帮忙我...
可是有时候，从他们的谈话，眼神和行为...
又让我不禁怀疑朋友的价值和定义...
也许是我自以为我自己很了解他们
可是从头到尾，对他们一点都不熟悉...
毕竟，我也不知道他们原本是怎么样的人...
虽然才认识两个月，还蛮要好的
可是现在在一起时的气氛，心情和态度真的跟之前刚认识的时候差好多...
这之间的差别真的让我很好奇，他们到底有没有把我们当作真心的朋友来看待？
还是只是普通认识的朋友罢了？

也许是我们这些小地方来的人比较单纯也比较朴实吧
在大城市里的生活真的让人有压力...
每一个见面的人，你都不知道他真正的样子...
就算知道也未必就是那个你认识的他
有时候会以为自己很了解他们
可是有时候却也并非如此...
我是很真心的把他们当朋友
可是他们现在给我的感觉是，因为之前没有朋友所以认识了就会常在一起
可是现在他们开始熟悉了，也有了新的朋友
我们就再也不重要了
现在的我的存在只是一座临时搭建的桥梁...
用来连接他们两个男生和其他女生交朋友的联系
从中扮演翻译的角色...
似乎，当两组人马便熟悉了以后
我这座临时桥梁就会被抛弃了...

可能人真的很难去了解另外一个人
也很难去知道他们到底在想什么
所以才会那么的疑惑...
看着他们跟越来越多人要好时
是吃醋吗？还是心理不平衡？
我不知道...就是会有不好的感觉...
会有点不舒服不开心...
我不喜欢自己的东西被人抢走的感觉...
从以前就一直这样
我先认识的人，我先得到的东西
最后都是跟别人比较好或是被抢走...
可能以为这样所以会不喜欢他们去认识其他的人
可是who cares...who will care about how i feel?
现在的我只剩一个人,虽然又开始认识其他朋友
可是感觉上都会是不长久的
也许，慢慢的我会变回以前那个孤僻的我吧
就自己一个人静静的上课就好...
不需要朋友...
之前把朋友看的太重
现在的我只要有家人就好了
家人就是我的一切...
朋友之间的游戏，有点想退出了
不需要去争什么...就让你们去变要好吧
我想clear掉一些不必要的关系了...
也许自己过会更好...

今天帮要离开的朋友办了一个小型的同学聚会
至少让他不会有遗憾的回去
可是，并没有想象中的热闹
更没有想象中的好玩
一切都只有一个字可以形容－－－冷
其他人也许觉得很好玩...
可是对我和静来说，真的好闷噢...
还蛮失望的...
也许是把一切相想得太美好
所以当结果不能像想象中一样时就会很失望
也许一开始就不该期望，因为没有期望才不会失望
更不会受伤害...
可是还是一直的重复期望着会有什么不一样的东西发生
也许，命运就是爱作弄我吧...
这个星期以后就会是我一个人的生活了
会是怎么的一个样子呢？
连我自己都不敢去揣测...
当然会很害怕，但希望我可以很好的克服这一切
不要再把任何事情看的那么重了，
因为一切都不值得...
这里不是我们该存在的地方
大城市的人都是以自我为中心
也不会顾虑到别人感受的人
任何事都好像一定要有目的才可以去进行
连交朋友也一样...
这样的人好可怕...
难道一切就不能单纯点？
说的话一定要有含义？有暗示？
我不喜欢拐弯抹角
我所说的和我想说的都只是直接的表达我的想法
所以拜托你们不要想太多...
我的个性就是这样
我只是单纯的说我想说的东西罢了
也只是单纯的很爱玩，可以玩很疯
拜托不要误会我在接近你们＝＝



PS:今年真的不适合出门，是第几次了啊？车在半路有问题...星期天要回来这里时半路爆胎了...
现在都还没弄好呢，有点担心...

dun be too good toward frenz sometimes...

so long time din updates my news ad...just vry lazy to write it out...
so many things happen this week...a bit grey for this week...
just cant be happy as before...
dun noe why...it seem like many of my frenz have many trouble now...
but for those who are not in MMU one...
my secondary school frenz...

A big curious come out in this week and make me confuse+dissappointed...
are the frenz only stand on using and being using basic?
why just seem like nowaday...cant a a sincere or true-hearted frenz like when we were young...
some...u really take them serious as a frenz...
but sometime u will find that,,,they dun think so...they only will ask for ur help when needed...
and after this...i just a like a spare tire...a reserve for them when they are no one to find...
and after the period...when they are getting to know more other frenz...
or just getting better with those who r not before...me---as a reserve...wont be entertain again...
dissappear again....become invinsible again...
I dun mind if u dun really take me as a frenz...but i just hate the kind of feelings become a reserve...
ALL the time i be the reserve no matter at where and when...
shall i just accept this kind of destiny?
so damn hate it...

i was angry with one of my coursemate yesterday...
because of the same problem...
he ask me to help to do one of the homework that he dun really noe how to do...
but actually,,,he lazy to do so...
and I....just too bzbody and help him to do so....but not complete...
coz i send him my work....but he need to differentiate a bit...
human are just like this...when they have something to plead u..sure theywill become so polite and freindly to u...
after getting their purpose,,,the truth coming out...
sending him my work and help him to finish up to 80% ad...but when he getting something wrong...
putting back the problem to me pulak...
so damn f***ing ...
but no because of that person...he just make me think about someone that have the same attitude with him...
all around my study years...i just keep helping anyone who need my help...and at the end of all...
I--the one who just too bzbody,,,too kind hearted...being scold...being discard ...i just really dun like that the feelings to be a fool to oneself...
I din request any from u all...the one i needed most only a thank or a simply smile from u all...
but what i get at the end...really upset me...
no only one times but all the times ...everytimes i just be the bzbody to help u all to do so...
den get a ''good'' enough pay back...
am i just born to deserve this kind of life?
i really hate it! hate it!! hate it!!!
can someone just taking me serious?or just dun asking anything from me...


what i have learn from the beginning till now...
is only ..people just no need to be too helpful...or u just will suffer losses...and to take advantage by other...
and last of all...no one will remember u...
just like u r deserve to do that for them...
iiisshhhhhh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i just feel so much like to kill all of them!!!


aren frenz just the simple frenz?
why u all need to complicate it?
all the human being must have an advantages to let other take then we just can be frenz?
what a manner world now...
can everything just back to the original and pure one?
just follow the simple thinking of human and maintain it...
so difficult fo me to differentiate a coursemate,frenz,good frenz or ordinary ppl...

and one other things is ...i just REALLY HATE that someone keep pleasing u to taught how to do the work and just act like he know nth...but after u give he sample or what...he just become pro ad then to be a volunteer keep showing and teaching ppl around AND sending those who i get from senior and send to him to any other WITHOUT asking me or permission from that senior...

he dun really noe who is the senior also...then he just keep passing the assignment done by senior,,,make me so embarrassed toward that senior coz he only give me his sample and for purposing guide me to do my homework...

what a life i suffer now with?

i wanna change!!!!!

漫漫失眠夜...不安。。。

一直都好不安噢
心跳坏了吧？
从第一天上来开始，心就没有平静过
真的很害怕，害怕我该怎么自己一个人的生活
没有家人的庇佑，没有家里这个避风港
我真的不知道我该怎么样得自己一个人去应付每一天的生活
这对我来说是一个很大的负担
我害怕，怕自己读不来吗？这点倒是还好
真的就是因为要自己一个人生活，日常琐事开销都要自己负责
没有人可以帮我，没有朋友。。。
我最害怕的就是要我自己一个人去解决三餐
一个人吃饭的可怕...
可能是依赖惯了,,,总有人会打包好三餐，不必愁的日子

现在在这里是还有哥哥和妹妹陪我
至少有事情可以找他们帮忙，吃东西也是一起去
可是过几天他们就要回去了
没有人可以帮我，没有人可以救我，没有人可以陪我
一睁开眼睛就只有我一个人
我该怎么去面对那样的生活？
不安一直缠绕着我，而且是越来越多
从第一天要上来之前开始
就没有平静过...只有偶尔睡着的时候会安定些
一睁开眼睛，就算我什么也没去想，就很快的马上变紧张
身体和心是很累，可是就是睡不着我该怎么办？
我真的无法面对那样的生活。。。

长久以来总是忍着不在任何人面前流泪的我
喜欢在夜里哭泣，不是因为什么，就因为没有可以让我在他面前放心哭的人
虽然是原本都很爱哭，可是现在更加得忍不住泪了
轻易的就在所有人面前流下眼泪
就真的把我之前一直伪装的坚强都打碎了

我知道我该变得更勇敢一点
可是这真的不容易做到。。。
止不住的泪，我也没办法让它干枯。。。
只知道，这一切是那么的不顺利
原本定下来的心，又因为一个给了我希望有害我更加失望的朋友动摇了
说什么要陪我来读书，结果还不到一天
虽然是跟我上来了，却因为不舍的男朋友而说不读了
我最讨厌这样的人了！~
只想着平平淡淡，随随便便混日子的人！
我讨厌死了！~
我最讨厌笨女人！
难道你可以一辈子的只做salesgirl?
说什么那么样的简简单单也好
可是你有没有为未来想过？
懒得说你了
还我的心情跟坐过山车一样
原本还期望至少还有一个人陪我一起生活
不用那么害怕了
结果还是一样
还让我摔得更痛
这样的朋友算是真心的吗？
越来越难分辨了...

心坏了...

今天真的好多话想说...
真的觉得我是那么的微乎其微...
微小的就算消失了也没人会发现的那种...
我讨厌那么懦弱的自己
我更讨厌只会重复叹息着自己很懦弱自己什么都不会
可是却什么也不去行动的我...
为什么我会那样子?为什么我真的那么惹人厌!~
我没有人缘,没有真心的朋友,没有了解我的人
为什么我想得到的东西越是永远都得不到?
为什么我越羡慕也越想争取的东西也是离我而去?
我就真的是注定该被遗忘吗?
命运就真的从来都不眷顾我吗?
为什么我总是要活得比别人惨?
为什么我总是那个被埋怨,被排斥,不被理解的人?
我需要空间!我需要自由!
我需要个可以让我自由自在呼吸,不需要理会任何人和任何事的空间!!!!
有谁可以给我这些?除了我自己好像没人了吧?
问题是...我自己却也给不了自己这些...

钱!我讨厌钱!可是我却很需要它!
因为钱,因为家境,因为家庭关系,我什么也做不了...
哪里也去不了...什么也得不到也都不被允许得到...
这就是我的人生,,,一个不被祝福不被眷顾的人生...
越想得到却越会失去...
心里真的很忧郁很郁闷!

我要的其实也很简单,,,我只想过和别人平等的生活...
有了解自己的人,有知心的朋友,有关怀我的家人,有可以到处去的自由和能力...
我并不如我外表所见的那么坚强...那只是我假装勇敢的面具...
我只想要个看穿我的伪装,会保护我,疼我,能让我卸下一切盔甲的人...
也从来也没有这个人的身影出现过...
我还是我...一个人独自生活的我,,,我永远只是一个人...

最近...

刚刚忘了说,,,我没去当兵了哦~
很久没更新不是因为去当兵了
而是因为心情真的很郁闷,也没什么时间然我可以上来这里看看...
原本担心了很久的当兵,结果因为体检属于中等级罢了,不适合去当兵而不用去了...
虽然很开心可以不用去当兵可是也担心自己的健康啊~~~
从没去当兵到现在,一个月了...
过了一个无所事事的一个月...到现在还是下不了决定到底要去那里读书...
真的不喜欢自己那么的优柔寡断,犹豫不决...
总是浪费时间浪费光阴,,,已经要五月了...五月份很多大专学府都开课了
可是我,,,一直在浪费时间,得过且过的我...竟然还没申请任何的学院
竟然还不知道我该去哪里...大家可是都决定好了啊...
我真的不想就这样浪费一年得过且过的活,,,可我却还是那样的日复一日,,,
好讨厌这样的自己哦!~
为什么我总是那么容易被动摇?
为什么我总是那么容易的失去竞争力,失去战斗力,失去目标,失去对读书甚至其他事的热情?

最近,,,真的...什么也没做...
就只是玩游戏...让每一天的时间白白的流逝...
却一直叹息我到底该去哪...可是并没有任何的行动...
这就是我,,,只会埋怨讨人厌的我!
论坛啊...神起啊...ps...真的都很想念...
可是却都没心情去玩...与其说没心情,由不到如说懒得去动...
虽然这几天真的没什么机会上网甚至动电脑的机会都没有
可是之前明明有很多时间去玩的时候却又不想去论坛...
最近真的很低迷...是因为神起的关系吗?
可能吧...从官司到现在...很多神起的活动和新闻我都不知道
因为都没上论坛,,,也懒得去看...
很多视频,单曲,节目,杂志,访谈,消息,图片甚至他们的动向
我全都不直到也都很久没去看,没去收集,没去下载了...
也许是因为备受小孩干扰,也被升学的压力压得一直很郁闷
所以失去了那个推动力了吧...感觉好对不起神起..
我一直都是个那么不称职的仙后...
一个不常关心他们,不知道他们过得好不好,不知道他们有什么新剧或是活动的不认真的仙后...
我是个彻底失败的仙后啊...
我的热情消失了吗?
我的激昂消失了吗?
我的能量消失了吗?
也许这只是暂时的...可我却改变不了自己的懦弱的渺小...
我只是个最低级等次的仙后...我就是那么糟糕的我...