self-introduction...XD

sudden feel so much like to post this out...XD
My self-introduction...>>>

ya ya...as u known...[if u know me in reality]
I just like to teasing ppl around...XD
Just try to be as naughty as I can or life will be too bored if all ppl are too obedient...I'm the special case...XD
Most of time is just kidding...if u get hurt from my words...
I'm sry coz I just want to say out what in my mind...
I just don't want to be too complicated...trying to speak the truth and having fun in this fake polite world...
But if you are really close enough with me, I'm sure you know what kind of ppl am I...and I'm sure you know most of the critic were just kidding...XD
Maybe u think i'm impolite...sry,that's just my own way to live...
It is better for me to be like that than being affectation
If you cant accept this...just ignore me...I din ask to to pay attention on me also....>.<

and sometime...

I'm smile din mean that i'm happy and i din smile also not mean that i'm trouble or angry...
No one smile all the time ...if like this,his/her life will be vry tired...XD
sometime it just nth to display...everyone need his/her own space to rest and breathe also...
So,don't simply to guess what I'm thinking about...bcoz no one will noe except me---myself...


from above maybe u will think that I'm swagger...
yes!sure I am...but that is just my own way to live...the characteristic of my family...^^
my family just a bit extraordinary...and that's why we are special and many other think we are special too..>.<
I'm just like to persist in my own ways...Live out my own formula!
all of the ppl in this world nowadays is just too fake...
all live themselves under the same scheme they been giving...
why dont u be special a bit ?
arent life will be very bored if everyone is just like that?


The other things about me,I think i not need to talk much about this...
coz as u known...if U are following this blog...
I;m sure u noe....I'm just an emotional ppl...
I do my things and write any of my emotion as what I feel and what i thought right away...
sometime it would be really sad and emo...but sometime is just like really shine and optimistic...
that is me...unpredictable...multi-emotion ppl...XD...
I thought it is enough for you to know me as you finish reading this,,,
If u are now reading this...thx so much for pay attention on what I write...
and I hope this is enough for u-all to know what kind of ppl am I....XD

I HATE! I HATE! I HATE!!!!!!!!!

SUPER DUPER DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I JUST HATE THAT WHEN U REALLY VRY TROUBLE ABOUT SOMETHING THEN THAT IS SERIOUSLY WILL CAUSING LOT OF PROBLEM IF CANT FIND SOLUTION BUT THE OTHER THAT U ASK FOR HELP JUST SEEM LIKE NOT THEIR MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!
IS THEIR FAULT FOR DIN COMPLETE IT BUT THE ONE SUFFER IS ME!!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!

RM8000,,,U WANT PAY FOR ME IS IT?
NO ONE TAKING SERIOUS ABIOUT THIS!
BUT IF I FAIL TO GET THE LOAN....U NOE HOW MUCH I NEED TO SUFFER?!
SEND TRHOUGH THE SUOER DUPER DAMN SKYNET  CARRIER SERVICE...
''NEED ONE DAY ONLY THEN WILL ARRIVE AD''...
FUCK UR SHIT!
4 DAYS AD AND IT SEEM LIKE DROP INTO THE SEA!
NOT ANY NEWS!!!!!

IS ALREADY RUN OUT OF TIME.....THEN ASK THE ONE WHO SEND TO ME CALL THE SKYNET OFFICE AND ASK DUE TO I'M THE CLASS ,CANT CALL...
WHAT THE FUCK I GET FROM THIS.,..JUST NOW I'M STILL SLEEPING O...DIN HELP U ASK...THEN I ASK AGAIN....THEN U HELP ME CALL NOW LOH...I'M STILL IN THE CLASS....ANOTHER FUCK A GET ....I DIN ASK O...U ASK URSELF LOH...!!!!!!
~!@#$%^^&*
WHAT TIME AD?OFFICE CLOSE AD AND I NEED THAT IMPORTANT DOCUMENT WHEN EARLY IN THE MORNING OF  WEDNESDAY...BUT NOW IS MONDAY NIGHT!!!!!MY POST HELD IN BRANCH...
SOMMORE ASK ME TO SKIP CLASS TO TAKE MYSELF...
HOW I GO THR?WALK?WHAT THE FUCKING CRAP U STILL TALKING?
U THOUGHT HERE IS THE KAMPONG WE LIVE OR WHAT?
HERE IS SELANGOR...HOW BIG IS IT U NOE?
HOW I  NOE WHR THE OFFICE AND WHICH BRANCH MY STUFF STUCK AT?

WHAT MAKE ME REALLY SUPER DUPER ANGRY IS JUST THOSE FUCKING PPL IS THOSE WHO CALL FAMILY...
THAY ALL NOE HOW IMPORTANT IS THE DOCUMENT AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DIN RECEIVE TMR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BUT WHAT THE ANSWER THEY GIVE ME?
THEY JUST LIKE THT IS UR BUSINESS...NOT MINE...IF U DIE THEN THAT IS URS PROBLEM....NOT MY BUSINESS....
I'M REALLY REALLY HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

不是每个笑容都是快乐的。。。

不是每个笑容都是快乐的...
也不是每个笑着的人都是开心的...
有时候笑容，只是一种形式上的礼仪...

raining inside..

suppose to be a simple and plain day...
but smile quite much through out the day...
just to make myself more cheerful...
but...before end of the class today,,,
the short film...short briefing comment on that film make me emo...
tears rolling again...but not as much as last time...
the video's name is MAMA...
the words i scare the most...
actually it was in a foreign language and not have any subtitles...
and i dun know what is trying to represent in this video...
but after watching it...the lecturer explain to us,,,
I didnt pay full attention at all....so dont know much about it also...
but sudden...he sudden link to a question...
who miss their mum home-cooked meal...
i thought he want to ask us who miss their mum...
and my heart shiver after hear that question...
it just like a auto action...I didnt know why it will like this also...
after coming here....I think I become weaker...
become more easier to miss something,someone...and easier to cry...
trying to make myself a bit calm and it was success...
but after this...the lecturer ask the question that i thought he ask just now...
who miss their mum now? I think everyone is missing their mum now...
and those guys...who are plan to back hometown today....i think all
start acting...shouting''oh mum...mama...''
quite hurt u know for hearing this?
but they just dont know that my mum had passes away long time already....
cant blame them also...
but for those who know...shouting ''oh mum,,,i gonna back to find u already...''
this make me more sad...
and just remind me something....
in this world really NO ONE WILL CARE FOR WHAT U FEEL,COZ EVERYONE JUST CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES...EVERYONE IS just too SELFISH!
and of course....human is just made to be selfish in this reality world...
one and one time hurting me...
luckily...i didnt do some embarrassing things in the class....
the class is over after that...
walking back alone with the injured heart...
no one know how much I wish there will be someone appear in front of me...
huging me and comfort me...but there just no one...
always no...no even have any before...
sometime I enjoy walking alone in the nice windy weather...
coz i love wind...it make me feel more comfortable and natural...
the nice weather will make me really happy all the day but not for today...
with the raining's heart...
no one know how much I wish there is someone will see through me...
knowing what I'm craving for and how i feel...
I just keep pretending..camouflage that I'm a optimistic person...
just for do not let other know what am I actually is...
even through my own family dont know what I actually feel and act also...
not to mention are friends...
I still cant find out the one who will expose my weakness and make me comfortable with him/her...the one who can let me put down my mask show my true personality with...
is it so difficult to find that one?maybe...
Haiz...single also not a fault..
single also very good one...
I prefer to stay single always instead of cant find that one really understand me...
it is better than finding someone no really have true feeling with to replace...
no one can replace anyone in one's heart...
u will only hurt someone if u finding someone to replace the important person in ur heart....
sometime....walking alone is not a bad thing....

happy belated 18th to myself ^^

yea yea~~that day finally coming...
my first ever and only once 18th birthday...
also didn't expect too much on it before...
but have a really surprise ^^
although i knew it long time before but just pretended that I dont know...XD
[sometime pretend dont know everything is good...at least,,,other people will be happier :D]
but really thx all my beloved friends!
really love u-all...
actually all part is quite happy and good....except for trying to pair me up with that one i really dislike but birthday fall on same day with me...>.<
dont like to see those pics also...
all is good but that part,,,,and pls...stop pairing me up with anyone...
I'm really hate it,,,

back to the topic...
for some details...
have a free lunch meal and free movie on the day before my birthday...
thx to the 2 guys...the 2 friend that I always sticking with...
and is the best friends among all the friends I recognize in MMU I think...[but just seem like wanna losing them ad,...==]
we watched INCEPTION on that day...
nice story but i think a bit bored at the starting part of the movie...
after movie section...just walking around alamanda only...
I know that two of them trying to find a present to buy for me and that one born on the same date with me...
but alamanda nothing to buy de lah...bored place...XD
seeing them walking and passing around those shop and keep chit-chating
quite funny but I just pretend that I dont know what happen...
I just dont want to disappointed themXD
and in nite of the same day ...
around 11.30pm...quite tired ad...and I know they wanna coming celebrate with me although they didnt say to me...but credit to me clever,I knew it lah....XD
one of them trying to cheat me through msn...
pretending asking me havent go sleep ah?not tired meh....
then for his fun...I told him I wanna sleep ad loh...
and he seem like a bit shock and keep asking me dont want sleep earlier since I never sleep so early...
but after that...really tired and sleep for a while...
one of my friends from hometown calling me when about 11.55pm...
I've really forgot does I heard the ringtones of my phone and when I start answering her call==...
didnt remember what she told actually...XD...wake up from sleep sure blur a bit...
then another call from fongfong...ask for mann ee no. from me>.<
what a day and time...wanna coming ad stil ask for no. of those who wanna coming also from me...
although I knew u-all will coming ad...but dont like that lah,not surprise ad...XD
another call from that one who wanna cheat me before...
pretending wanna wishing me hapy birthday instead of waking me up from sleep...XD
then...receive a call from mann ee...
asking me wanna yumcha or not...
sure i say want then she ask me to go down now....
I just reply my FB comment 1st for about 5 min only...
then another call asking me open the door....XD
although knew ad they will come...
but when I open the door and saw so many ppl outside summore singing happy birthday song to me....
really surprise and touch leh....^^...love it...:D
happy happy....^^
then we just cut the cake[the part i hate the most],play with cream,chatting,and recording video for the K.F.C fanclub...XD
quite funny....^^
after this take some photo of all of us....
really appreciate these pics....^^love it so much...XD
about 2.00am....we go yumcha at the mamak shop outside my house...
and nothing much to say actually...haha
quite bored since all of us not actually vry close...XD
I'm quite close with each lah..but them din so close with each other.,...
and going back about 3.00am....
online!~~~XD...reply all my FB birthday wishes~
really enjoy it....^^ about 100++ wishes....happy....^^
and have a class the next morning...
all are damn tired when in class...XD
and although din have any celebration on the whole day...
coz here is really nth can play...>.<,,,
but they keep wishing me happy birthday and I'm really touching...^^
last...thx all my friends for the surprise party and all wishes get from u-all
thx also for those who write their wishes on my Fb wall...
really happy and Thx u-all...
I'm really appreciate all of u since I'm really treasure all my friend especially those who appreciate me also XD
hope all of us just getting closer and closer and are best friends forever!
I love u all^^

18th...quite a significant age for the young like us...
thx for giving me a special and unforgettable 18's birthday...<3

one more day...

one more day to reach that scary day...>.<
really scare now...
dont noe what will happen...
actually...tmr,,,dun feel so much like to go out instead of so many assignment are waiting for me...
but since they ask me out and i say yes ad...now cant change anything...
hope tmr will be a better day for me...
and yet...hope all is going smooth tmr...the situation and environment not will be so awkward
and boring...
GOD bless me...


and one more things...
that ppl...i dont know what u taking me for...
and really cant understand what u r thinking...
just hope that we r frenz...forever...vry goodfren,,,
sometime just wanna kidding with u and pls dun be so serious or pls dun so easy believe in what i said...
most of the time...is just kidding...dont angry and dun be petty,k?
i dun noe what u r thinking...but really hope that u din take it serious...

ya,,,one more question...r my face look like play-girl or easy fall in love with?
why from primary school till now in Uni ad...
for those who r opposite sex with me and have a good relationship and conversation with me..
those guy...always been teasing by their frenz or some more teasing me also...
why they so easy thought that those crush on me?
quite a trouble for me,,,and mayb cause of it...
it make a wrong impression for other about me...
and it consequently causing me being single till now...
not even have any...>.<
sometime,,,it just really ridiculous and i'm already vry sick of it...
nth to comment and nth to say anymore...
even for those the malay classmate...
not even talk b4 except for Fb chatting...
his frenz thought that he crush on me pula...T.T
tired...really tired about it...

GOD...my DEAR GOD...
if YOU really love me and hope i'm being love by someone...
pls just sending me the right person...one is enough only...
I just need ONE...who really love and care me superly...

expect?no...

countdown-ing my birthday...
still got 7 days to go...
but the feeling keep come toward me is just scary...
keep remid myself that don't expect too much on it...
because no one will remember it...
if they remember or they know that that day is my birthday
the most i will get is also only a happy birthday greeting...
maybe I just cant let it go...
really hope that have someone or somebody can celebrate with me
and giving me present,,,
but it never happen...
that is not a tradition for my family to celebrate birthday...
so...never have expection from there...
but friends,,,just always didnt take it serious...
it was said we are good friend or best friends or whatever...
but I'm just that who always being forgetted one...
what kind of life does I have...
never,,,not seem like never,,is really never have anyone celebrate with me...
the DAY keep coming closer,and I'm getting more and more emo...
really hope that i can totally forget that day...
it is better for me to take it just like a simple day than my birthday...
present...i really like it,,,no matter what u give me...
the most important things for me is just the intention or more in more proper saying...
the appretiation of u-all toward me...
keep asking myself dont expect too much and dont have any expection...
but dunno why it just keep appearing on my mind,,,==
haiz,,,,

1st of August...I will remember this day always...

The 1st day of August...

suppose to be a very hapiness and shine month...

but my friend leave me on this day...

the start of the new month...and she will leave later...

so much memory between us and the campus life...

I'm sure u will live better after u go penang...

but for me...I need to continue my life in the same environment with all ours memories around...

so often wil miss u when i saw or think about something that we do together before this and now...

less one...

This two month...although just two month...

so much memories between u and me...

more than the 10  years we know each other...

really hope that we can graduate together after 4 years...

but now...only 2 month...u leave ad...

although i'm sad...but still hope u can get whatever u want...

and I really hope that I can get usual of all of this and just be good to anything...

The things make me more sad is that...
my birthday is just 15 days away...
I really hope that u can celebrate with me before u go there...
when we come here together,,,i never thought that u will leave so early...
I still wishing for to have an unforgettable birthday for the 1st year Uni life with all my beloved friends
I really hope that all of u,the new friends and u can give me a surprise birthday...
although just a simply wishes from all of u is really enough for me ad...
but now,,,I think no one will remember or no one will know my birthday...
maybe i just expect too much on it...so now are very lost and disappointed...
anyway,,,

May God bless us always...Hope both of us can be happy always...friendship forever!love so much...

I'm fake...

when i smile...u can see the hapiness in my eyes...

but when i cry...u not will know...

coz i never cry before other...

sometimes,,,when i was smile...u just dont know that my heart is crying...

just need one second...when i turn myself back...my tears start rolling down...

and no one will know...

I wish to be happy too...I wanna keep myself always from emo also...

I know all of u want me to be cheerful and braveful...

I will try vry vry hard to achieve it also...

but just for once...now...let me cry out loud...

let me cry for the last time...

I just cant holding back the tears...

I will try ti be happy and make more friends after this...

I know u all so care about me,,really very thx u all

and I appreciate it so much!...

but just for now...let me cry for the last time...

I will be strong after this...gambateh for myself!!!